Lower your heads; Raise your hands

I deeply regret running for and winning the title of Peer Helping class president my senior year in high school. I should have let Amy have the job. Not only did she need the positive feedback from her peers, she wanted it more. I know that I would have been more passionate and involved in the class dynamic if I had something to fight against instead of being the one with all of the responsibility.

So I suppose this is my life's paradigm: I desire power, yet do not function well at the top of the totem. I need to feel suppressed in order to flourish. When I feel like I have it all, I grow tired and move on to something else. How do I repair this flaw in character?



Again my thoughts return to Darwin's "survival of the fittest" theory. The 'fittest' individuals may overcome less fit ones, but how do they fare against themselves and others like them? The theory must degenerate at some point, but I've been waiting for the end since I began...